the four commandments of college football etiquette
after spending my entire weekend amongst a variety of college football fans, it has become obvious to me that there is no general code of conduct for us fans to follow.
and since that's unacceptable, i took it upon myself to make one.
the four commandments of college football etiquette:
#1 thou shalt not weareth 5-inch heels unless thy seat is on the ground level
every school has their own tradition for appropriate gamewear. for tech, it's lots of hokie paraphernalia paired with jeans or shorts (ie. we have no tradition). for some schools, tradition might dictate sports coats and sundresses, and while that seems utterly ridiculous to me, i can respect it.
however, if you so choose to wear stilettos to a football game, don't hold up the rest of us in flip flops and sneakers on the ramp while you struggle to trek your way up while holding onto both the rail AND the chain of your girlfriends all using each other for support. you look like a spaz, and you're keeping me from getting to my seat. no bueno.
#2 thou shalt not booeth the band
yes, that band is from the opposing team, but they don't have any more say over the outcome of the game than you and i yelling mindlessly from the stands. there's really nothing to gain by making their woodwind rendition of "glad you came" more of a struggle than it already is. plus, the band/flag girls have probably taken more crap over the years than anyone else in the stadium. give them a break and let them be great.
#3 thou shalt not complaineth about noise at a football game
if you want quiet, you're in the wrong place. and your complaining just makes you look and sound foolish (and i think i may just hate you for doing it).
#4 thou shalt not doucheth it up before, during, or after the game
there's a fine line between trash-talking and complete disrespect. learn to finesse it. if you're unsure, err on the side of not shouting obscenities about the other school, the other school's team, its students, and its students' parents. everyone loves a witty joke at the expense of the other team, but no one likes a black eye.